Get the fuck away, don't act like you care.

Build walls or bridges?

Hi guys. Yes, I'm back to blogging a proper post. Please leave if you find it boring or whatever
shit. School is shit. Home is shit. Life is shit. But guess what, life still goes on. Fuck life.
Ever wondered when you're going to die? Or how you're going to die? Who will really care if
you died? Who will attend your funeral and cry every time  just when they see your dead 
body. Who will scream and yell or just break down seeing your body burn into ashes. Where
would you go if you died? Can you still experience love or hatred? Or will you rebirth and not 
even remembering your previous life? I want to experience death, but I'm afraid to die. Or 
maybe I don't want to die. Maybe I just want to see who cares. Who really cares and not just
being curious.... I want to feel love. I want to be loved. But why can't I feel any now?
Family, friends, siblings? Are they really there, are they really worried and concern? Or are
they just curious? Haha, i sound like a despo attracting attention bitch now. Yea, and guess
what? I am. I want attention. I want to be notice. Is it that hard to be there for someone
who really needs a listening ear or just giving them a comforting hug? 
Because seriously, I will.  
Haha, why am I even thinking about this shit anyway. I need to live life to the fullest. I'm
living life like there is always a tomorrow. And if maybe just one day, there is no tomorrow,
I'll leave life with regrets. (Not live, but leave. Like passing away if you don't know) I don't
know. I really hate this shit that I going through now. But I can't say my life sucks. It's just
shitty. And I'm just really so afraid to ask for more. I admit, I have kinda great friends and KINDA loving sister. So what the fuck I'm I complaining about? Wanting love? Fuck love.
I already have what I need. I don't need love or boyfriends or whatever hubby shit. I'm 
independent. I don't need somebody to always look out for me. But yea, I admit I might 
get lonely sometimes. But I really don't need a boyfriend. I've seen so many of my friends 
neglecting me because they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And I, myself neglected my 
friends when I'm in a relationship too.  But now, no. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want
to do that to my friends, they're worth more than that. 
(P/S: This gonna be awkward shit, if I end up in a relationship.)
(P/S/S: It's already awkward. If you relate to the first part of the post, I said I wanted love.)
Okay, I'm not thinking stably now.............  






















Getting for the emo picture to go with this post?

I find myself here emo shit. Haha. Fuck.

xx, Justsoheartache.