Your Sweetheart

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I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. ― Marilyn Monroe

July 09, 2011

It's so hard to pretend not to love a person when you really do.

Do you know me?

Yea, I haven't been posting quite a while. :/ Now you guys never visit my blog already
right! :( So yea. I guess you guys won't be interested in my daily life, so I'm gonna be oh-so-emo
here. Why? Cause I'm oh-so-fucking-sad now. So if you're like oh-so-not-interested, you could
kindly close this page, like now.


Too late, now you gotta read on.

If you really knew me then, 
You’d know I’m stuck in a body I hate. 
You’d know I don’t know where my life is going. 
You’d know I'm stuck in my past. 
You’d know I'm confused and afraid in relationships.
You'd know how sad am I even though I was smiling and laughing.
You'd know that I am feeling sad, disappointed, betrayed, heartbroken, and alone. 
You'd know I rather bottle myself up then telling others, even those who I trust.
You'd know there's so many things I wish I could pour out right now.
You’d know how fucked up I’ve become. 
You'd know I don’t trust as easily. Not even myself.
You’d know I’m a really horrifically bad human being.
You’d know that even though I’m so fucked up I still worry about others more than myself
You'd know I'm the worst friend you could ever have.
You’d know that I cry myself to sleep because I can’t be strong all the time.
You'd know I'm dying to be perfect which I forever can't.
You'd know that it hurts knowing that you'd talk to some other girl more than you talk to me.
You’d know what a hypocritical I am.
You'd know I hide my tears, I hide my pain, I hide my fears, I hide my inner self.
You'd know I'm insecure of myself.
You'd know the reason why didn't I kill myself is because I'm afraid.

You'd know that I'll do anything to forget you.

If you really knew me, 
you'd know that the things I've just wrote are only a small part of the story of my life.

Well, did you read it all? I bet you didn't bother.
(P/S: If you're judging now, oh please. I'm fine with that. Look at my face. Do I give a fuck?)
(P/S/S: Accept me now, or never. Cuz the old me ain't coming back no more.)


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