It's so hard to pretend not to love a person when you really do.

Do you know me?

HI GUYS. 
Yea, I haven't been posting quite a while. :/ Now you guys never visit my blog already
right! :( So yea. I guess you guys won't be interested in my daily life, so I'm gonna be oh-so-emo
here. Why? Cause I'm oh-so-fucking-sad now. So if you're like oh-so-not-interested, you could
kindly close this page, like now.
I'M GONNA OH-SO-POUR-MY-HEART-OUT RIGHT NOW. Better leave like NOW.

BOO.

Too late, now you gotta read on.












If you really knew me then, 
You’d know I’m stuck in a body I hate. 
You’d know I don’t know where my life is going. 
You’d know I'm stuck in my past. 
You’d know I'm confused and afraid in relationships.
You'd know how sad am I even though I was smiling and laughing.
You'd know that I am feeling sad, disappointed, betrayed, heartbroken, and alone. 
You'd know I rather bottle myself up then telling others, even those who I trust.
You'd know there's so many things I wish I could pour out right now.
You’d know how fucked up I’ve become. 
You'd know I don’t trust as easily. Not even myself.
You’d know I’m a really horrifically bad human being.
You’d know that even though I’m so fucked up I still worry about others more than myself
You'd know I'm the worst friend you could ever have.
You’d know that I cry myself to sleep because I can’t be strong all the time.
You'd know I'm dying to be perfect which I forever can't.
You'd know that it hurts knowing that you'd talk to some other girl more than you talk to me.
You’d know what a hypocritical I am.
You'd know I hide my tears, I hide my pain, I hide my fears, I hide my inner self.
You'd know I'm insecure of myself.
You'd know the reason why didn't I kill myself is because I'm afraid.

You'd know that I'll do anything to forget you.




If you really knew me, 
you'd know that the things I've just wrote are only a small part of the story of my life.
















Well, did you read it all? I bet you didn't bother.
(P/S: If you're judging now, oh please. I'm fine with that. Look at my face. Do I give a fuck?)
(P/S/S: Accept me now, or never. Cuz the old me ain't coming back no more.)

xx,Justsoheartache.